Joel Golby ( @joelgolby ) Twitter Profile


Joel Golby

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Certified Flaskie 🧨


Joined on 4 July, 2009

  • 2.4k Tweets
  • 2.5k Following

please do not raise minimum wage. i can only enjoy a big mac if i know someone suffered for it

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london: we figured out how to ruin 'booking a table at a restaurant' many many years ago. now.......... time for literally everything else

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enjoying the fact that a simple process such as adopting a cat has been 'londonfied' so you have to be extremely lucky, online all the time and ready for short-notice drops to secure the goods

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do you think rich people have to spend as much of their life getting the angle exactly right on their laptop charger or am i being punished by capitalism once again

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Quoted @guideguardian

'Staged will be shown in museums as proof of how mad it all got at the start of the 2020s' – here's @joelgolby on season two of Messrs Sheen and Tennant's marvellous losing-it-over-Zoom comedy

i personally find Staged a bit mixed but you really cannot argue with the fact that it's exceptionally interesting. well! bye!

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Quoted @edjeff

@joelgolby to be fair there's nowhere to piss any more because they had to close 90% of public toilets in order to boost the piss outrage economy

public space is designed to erode almost all forms of shelter in case a homeless person scams their way to staying dry in the rain for free. toilets are the same. limit all access in case someone without money somehow fires a piss off without paying for it

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it's always 'i can't believe i saw someone piss' and never 'i can't believe i live in a society that has somehow evolved to this point'

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the puritanical basis of this country's sniveling national character once again mistakes wood for trees

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if a delivery driver urinating in public offends you so much you should be advocating for the company who employs the driver to give them better access to toilet facilities or lower pressure delivery quotas so they can actually stop somewhere and piss. jfc this isn't difficult

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when the Chaser just explains the right answer back to Bradley......... shut up u nerd robot

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go the high offer, always. multiple choice questions are easier and fuck the rest of the team if you don't make it back. anyone who takes a negative hit to the prize pot then has the temerity to play in the final should be, frankly, shot

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nothing repulses me more than a coward on The Chase

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art. artwork. l'art

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Replying to @MarinaOLoughlin: This by @joelgolby is just great. And enraging.

Britain as a nation of snitches


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This by @joelgolby is just great. And enraging.

Britain as a nation of snitches

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desperately want to be one of those people who's only form of banter is telling you who has blocked them on twitter

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gutted to discover i am 'blocked' by leading thinker sarah ditum. hoping one of you lot can take up the mantle of tweeting about how lazy your husband is and consistently being fucking wrong about everything

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we think fame is predicated on god-given charisma and talent when it's clearly based on how good your agent is

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we should never have made LMFAO say 'sorry for party rocking' back in 2011. it's what's in their nature. the tiger does not apologise to the gazelle

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