50 feet of hempen nope ( @andrealongchu ) Twitter Profile

andrealongchu

50 feet of hempen nope

ex tank mechanic

Brooklyn, NY

Joined on 24 October, 2015

http://andrealongchu.com

  • 1.6k Tweets
  • 32k Followers
  • 440 Following

many bothans died to bring us this information

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Quoted @andrealongchu

death standing will be a dating sim

eerily prescient

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funeral director: i’m sorry?

me: you know, puzzles, riddles, mysterious symbols, booby trapped doors. maybe some prisms you can push around

funeral director: ...ma’am, do you WANT people getting in?

me: what? no

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waitress: ma’am?

me: (walking away)

waitress: ma’am!

me: (looks over shoulder)

waitress: (holding it up) your macguffin?

me: OH my god thank you

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exec: the very best?

writer: correct

exec: but you don’t mean—

writer: like no one ever was, yes

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christianity ppl born in july
🤝
cancers

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starting to wonder if jesus was really the son of god

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in bernie’s america we will all be size 12

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under socialism fat will be redistributed

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one relatable thing about me is my problems are uniquely unsolvable

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reader, i pulled the mouse out by its tail

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update: when i checked the pedal today, the mouse was dead inside it, perhaps from complications due to cat bites. i went outside and shook the pedal as hard as
i could. there was only one thing left to do

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vladimir: well? what do we do?
estragon: don‘t let’s do anything. it’s safer

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the pedal could not be opened without breaking it. i took the pedal outside and shook it vigorously and poked it with a chopstick but the brave mouse would not budge

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BEHOLD THE MOUSE WAS INSIDE YON PEDAL

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this morning i find my cat going crazy over the sustain pedal to me electric piano. what mischief is afoot says i

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in a mad twist of fate, however, the mouse got away. we searched high and low for it, to no avail

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ok so yesterday my cat found a mouse in the kitchen and did battle with it. she had been training all her life for this

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im actually masturbating less if you can believe it

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